Birth is NOT a one-day event in our lives, it is an experience that will live with us for the rest of our lives.
We have 9 months to prepare for birth, and there is not a woman out there that won’t think about how she is going to cope with the imminent and inevitable birth of their child. When we are pregnant we will prepare for the birth of our baby; whether we attend the classes, speak to friends/family or dream about the birth. The emotions of excitement and the thought of what is to come are very common feelings during pregnancy. This is just the process of your mind as well as your body preparing for the birth.
I am going to be honest here and tell you NOT all births will follow the birth plan! A good teacher/midwife or obstetrician will prepare you for this and provide tools to help you manage the experience of birth, however it turns out. Unfortunately, we can see from the increase in women and men who are experiencing birth trauma this isn’t always happening. The Birth Trauma Association UK highlights that 20,000 women a year in the UK will suffer birth trauma.
There is a lot of press and information out there identifying birth trauma and its impact on women, their families and their decision to have future pregnancies. The stories that tend to make the press are the truly horrific life and death events at birth, that even when reading can make you feel a sense of vicarious trauma. I am not in anyway disputing or playing down these terrible experiences, but I would like to highlight that women can experience a birth trauma without an emergency situation. These women need recognition and support to allow them to move forward from their birth experience. Women are at their most vulnerable during birth. It can take just one detail, either physical or emotional, for a woman to feel helpless or powerless in that moment into motherhood.
I look after many women, in my role as a midwife, who on paper look to have had a ‘normal, uncomplicated birth’. However, when you talk to them about their birth they highlight deeply distressing experiences for them, that have left them traumatised by their experience. These can be events during the birth ranging from; being left alone for long periods in labour, not feeling that the midwife/team were listening, feeling they had a loss control of their birth, belittled by staff, not consenting to events that happened or lack of care and attention by the team. There are many other factors that can impact on a woman’s experience to make them feel uncomfortable and anxious about their birth. It doesn’t have to be an emergency for you to suffer distress after your birth!
The subtle signs of birth trauma
Whatever your experience of birth if you:
- Are avoiding talking about your birth to others,
- Feel disconnected from those people you are normally close to,
- If you feel anxious or panicked when you think of your birth,
- Find it hard to sleep or stay asleep,
- Have difficulty concentrating on things,
- You are having nightmares/flashbacks
These are signs that you may be feeling traumatised by your birth experience. You don’t need to feel like this and there is the help to make sure this doesn’t impact on your new family life or your decision to have another baby in the future. It can be easy to bury those emotions and feelings in the back of your mind after having a baby. Life is very demanding with a newborn and the shock of parenthood soon kicks in. However, if those traumatic memories are not dealt with and resolved they can have a big impact on your life; whether in your relationships within your family, your mental wellbeing or your perceptions of any future births. There is more and more support out there for women and men who may have experienced a traumatic event during the birth of their baby.
If women and men are able to feel in control, listened to, and provided the opportunity to input into their care, then the incidence of trauma reduces dramatically. It may sound idealistic but is actually very simple to action for women, birth partners and health professionals.
How to prepare for birth
Hypnobirthing – is a great way to learn, techniques and tools for yourself and your partner to manage labour and the unexpected situations that can arise. Techniques can help you manage the situations that arise, allowing you to feel in control and confident during the birth
Relaxation techniques – There are very simple breathing techniques that can help your body to physically relax when you are feeling anxious. One very simple technique that takes a few minutes is called Abdominal Breathing:
- Take 5 mins to practice this technique.
- Place your hands on your tummy and feel your breath.
- Take a deep breath into your tummy (expanding your tummy to the max) and take a S-L-O-W-E-R breath out.
- Try to breathe in for 7 and breathe out for 11.
It might feel strange at first, but this control of the breath induces a physical response to relax, reducing anxiety and stress.
Talk to the health professionals – If you are feeling anxious about your birth talk to your midwife and discuss the options that are available to you. This is your body and pregnancy and you need to part of the decisions that are made and feel confident and happy with it.
Talking therapies – If you have a previous difficult birth I cannot impress on you how important it is for you seek some support to talk this through before your next birth. Talking therapies allows you the time, space and professional help to get your body and mind in the right mindset going forward. You can learn to feel positive about what lies ahead and not terrified of the same experience happening again.
As a specialist midwife in birth trauma, I run a clinic at the Perrymount Clinic, Haywards Heath that offers birth trauma therapy for women, birth partners and health professionals. The clinic is run by a specialist birth trauma midwife and health visitor.
If you would like to have a FREE 15mins chat about your birth, what we offer, and treatment please feel free to call to arrange a time to chat.
Call the Perrymount on: 01444 410 944
You don’t need to suffer alone. I would encourage anyone to spend some time to seek help and get the tools to move forward to be able to look to the future positively and without fear.
Emma Mills - Private Midwife 